1dering at stars

Hi! Now, on to the critique! First off, please capitalize all your 'i's! I am still your little girl , but i am growing older . i am still your ...

I like the sort of dazed and confused feeling I get from this poem. The only thing that bothered me slightly was the rhyming. I would suggest adding a line ...

I really liked the first paragraph; you had a nice mood going that was interesting and kept me reading. But after I finished I thought to myself: "Wait... what is ...

First off, I don't see how this poem was cliche at all. You did a beautiful job of painting images and setting a sort of magical dream-like feel for it. ...

Beautiful words! Beautiful images! Great piece! Just a couple corrections: 1: As I lay in my field of camellias, I think about the years I wasted. Captivated by your loving ...

Yikes! That gave me shivers..... I think you did a really good job of showing us the story, even though it was you telling it to us, you didn't just ...

One of the things I like best about this poem is the rhythm. You kept it the same the whole way through but nothing is forced. And the last stanza ...

The first verse was fine, but after that you kind of just repeat yourself over and over again. We get the same message from all the other verses and even ...

There were a few parts that sounded a little childish, such as "elf-man" and... I can't find the others but there were only a few more. Other than that your ...

:smt023 :smt023 The title, because it was interesting and I had to read it twice before it really registered, caught my attention at once. I agree that you should take ...

Wow, that was really good. Really, really good. I love your characters! Even the cat seems to have its own really strong personality. I loved the firefighter part! There were ...

A great first start! At first when I scanned it over I wasn't even going to bother reading, I thought 'Ah, its just like everything else...' But then I looked ...

One thing i noticed myself really liking about this is the rhyming. Not real complex, but not forced either. As I skimmed other comments I realized that lots of people ...

Hmmmmm....*blinks* I'm confused. Why do you hate this person if: "I realize everything you do is for me." and: "But it was for me." and: "I want to tell you ...

if you've never written poetry before this is really good. I find though, that there are some parts that I don't understand. It is probably just me, but you might ...